Saturday, May 21, 2011

Learning to Have Faith

Rick and I have been together a very long time. I love him dearly and I am very thankful for him and everything he does for us. There have been some complications with his divorce and this process has been dragged out for years. Luckily there were no children involved. But we are close to the end and there is light at the end of the tunnel, finally!
However, these few years have been very frustrating. All that we want to do is get married, it has been too long coming. Our original plan was to elope as soon as the divorce is final and have a church wedding later. Our Deacon has convinced us that that is not the proper way to go. He has helped us realize that when we marry we should do it once and do it properly, in sight of God. So, we have made a vow of celibacy until we are married, and considering the fact that we are living together, this vow is a little harder than I thought it would be. The sexual tension between us seems to be growing with each passing day, but we have not given in to our desires. This is actually a good thing because I have just started to practice Natural Family Planning and I am still trying to get in tune with my natural cycle. Because of the sexual tension and because we love each other so deeply and have been waiting so long, there is still a part of us who have toyed with eloping, running down to the courthouse as soon as we can.

This morning I went to a meeting and our Deacon was in attendance. After lunch I stayed afterward to help him and his daughter clean up. He asked if we had heard anything about the divorce yet. I told him no, but it shouldn't be much longer. Then I told him that if we are impatient and that I would not be surprised if Rick whisked me down to the courthouse as soon as it is finalized. Smiling, Deacon replied, "No, don't do that! I'll get you married as soon as I can. You should be getting a phone call this week to get started on your pre-cana classes."

Well, on my way home, I reflected on this whole situation and I realized that God certainly does work in wondrous ways. I think there is a reason why this whole thing has been dragged out for so long. God wanted me to get married properly. When I met Rick I was beginning to stray from the faith, and I strayed farther away with each passing year. Then, a couple of years ago I started coming back, and Rick eventually followed me back home. We are more passionate about our faith than ever before. I think that God knew that I would come back to the fold and said, 'You are my child and I want you to get married properly'. So, this was His plan all along.

So, while this whole situation is very frustrating, God hand has been behind it because this has been His plan.

God, please give Rick and me the patience to wait until we can be married properly in Your House and in your Presence.

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