Worn Down

I'm sitting at home watching The Five Year Engagement, and I am finding it somewhat funny and disturbing at the same time. Definitely not going to be on my watch again list.

I am getting thoroughly annoyed with this homosexual marriage debate. It is literally wearing me down. I am having a difficult time with the debates and people I know (not really sure if you can call them friends) and fellow parishioners calling me a judgemental bigot.

Ugh. I just want to withdraw from the world and try to re-center myself with God. If I write a long blog post complaining about society and how we're going to hell in a handwoven reed basket, you'll know that I drank too much Arbor Mist and am taking out my angst out on the computer.

Is there a patron saint for people who are feeling disillusioned with the world? Ah, I got one...Saint John of the Cross...the Carmelite who was best buds with Saint Theresa of Avila. He was imprisoned and beaten up by his fellow brothers. If that doesn't make one compelled to become disillusioned, then I don't know what does.

Saint John of the Cross, pray for me!

Easter Vigil Conundrum

So, about a week ago, I get an e-mail from the person in charge of religious education at my parish. Apparently, the sponsor of one of the young men entering the Church during the Easter Vigil was unable to make it to the service, and she asked if I could be a stand-in.

For those of you who may not know, if a chosen godparent or sponsor is unable to attend the Rite, someone can stand in their place as a proxy.

I get up early this morning to attend morning prayer and practice for the Rite this evening. I have never met the young man who I was standing for, but I had met his mother who is also coming into the Church. I thought that I was just going to stand in as a Confirmation sponsor. However, this young man has not been baptised, so I will also be witnessing his Baptism.

When time came to go over the Rite for Confirmation, I asked him what his Confirmation name would be, since I would be the one announcing it. He did not know, and had to ask his mother. RED FLAG! Um...you don't know who you have chosen to be your patron saint? This is supposed to be a personal decision. Patron saints are not assigned, they are chosen.

I was confused. First off, while I was under the impression that I was just going to be a proxy, I was not certain that was the situation, it was not fully explained to me. So, I cornered Deacon at the end of practice and asked what was going on. Was I a proxy, or was I really going to be the godparent for this kid. Deacon was also not fully aware of the situation, and as we were walking to his office to go over some things, we ran into the woman in charge of it all.

She told us that there was someone who was supposed to be his godparent, but no paperwork was ever submitted and he had never shown up to any of the classes. Also, this kid never did work on his patron saint (apparently everyone is supposed to do a presentation on their saint and why they were chosen). Therefore, I am not just a proxy, I will become his godmother tonight during the Vigil.

Ugh. Deacon rubbed his head in frustration and said, "I just gave this lengthy talk about how godparents and sponsors are responsible for their catechumens. Amelia is not a cupcake. She takes this role seriously and it is difficult for her to take this on if she doesn't know him."

Then he turned to me and said, "Ultimately, it is my responsibility. I am the one who will answer for this when the time comes, but I will get you their contact information so that you can try your best to make sure he is practicing the faith."

Talk about a conundrum. I see a kid who is really just doing what his mother is telling him to do, and doesn't care. But, his mother is a sweetheart, and I feel she is sincere about the faith. If I didn't know that, I would be way more concerned about the whole thing than I am now.

Tonight, he will be Baptized, Confirmed, and will receive his First Holy Communion. The only thing that I can do is pray that the graces that will be bestowed upon him tonight will lead him into a deep relationship with Christ and His Church.

But, I was certainly not expecting this going in...

Saint Cecilia and Saint Bernardine, pray for us!

Defend Marriage

If you are on Facebook, I am sure that you have seen the plethora of equal signs that are popping up everywhere. Those who wish to redefine the definition of marriage are out in full force.

Honestly, those of us who support the traditional definition of marriage should not be surprised. Society has already redefined marriage years ago. It started with the Council of Lambeth in 1930 when the Anglican church approved birth control in 'limited circumstances'. Gradually, the acceptance of birth control would grow until is became perfectly acceptable for married couples to use contraceptives to space or avoid children. Slowly, marriage stopped being the building block of life.

Also, in an age where people change spouses almost as much as they change their underwear, the permanence of marriage has also diminished. Over 50% of marriages end in divorce. The most common reason? Irreconcilable differences. My spouse and I no longer have the same feelings for each other when we got married, so I can go find someone else.

Well, when I got married, I promised to stay true to my husband no matter what. I vowed this before God. What good is a vow if you don't follow through? I guess one's word doesn't have the same weight as it did before.

So, if marriage is no longer permanent or the building block of life, then it is no wonder that people want to expand the definition even further. Marriage has lost all of its meaning within the last 100 years.

It has been difficult to see my friends come out in support of redefining marriage. Some go as far to say that those of us who support traditional marriage are full of hate.

I love those who identify as homosexual. I have many friends and mentors who identify as homosexual, and I love and respect them. EVERYONE was made in the image and likeness of God, no matter what sin they struggle with, and we all struggle with sin.

But I have to stand for what marriage really is...a permanent union between a man and a woman that has the potential to create life.



One Year Later

My husband and I have been trying to have a baby. We've been trying for a year. It's kinda strange. All of the women in my family have been very fertile. My mom got pregnant at the drop of a hat. I just assumed it would be the same for me.

Now my monthly cycles bring more than just the usual discomfort. It also brings a hint of sadness. One more month without getting pregnant.

I am trying to figure out what to do. There is a pro-life doctor about an hour away from where I live. Many of the women in my church go to him and he comes highly recommended...but he does not take my insurance. I've been thinking about saving some money and making an appointment to see if there is anything wrong with me.

Tonight, since it marks the one year mark of trying to conceive, I looked up the patron saint of those striving for motherhood. I came across Saint Gerard Majella.

Naturally, women ask Saint Gerard to pray for them in hopes that they will conceive. As I was getting ready to say my first prayer to him, I paused.

I remembered what Christ said about vain repetitious prayer. It's one of those things that many Protestants hold against us, but only because they don't understand. Christ warned against repetitious prayer because it was a tactic the pagans used to conform a god's will towards their own. Instead, we need to turn our will to God's.

What if God does not intend for my hubby and I to have a child? Or what if it takes us 5 years to conceive? Instead of asking that Saint Gerard pray for me to get pregnant, I am going to ask that he prays that I submit myself wholly to God's Will for us.



God Bless Pope Francis!

I was sitting in front of a computer in the library while on my lunch break. I was keeping an eye on the smoke stacks on top of the Sistine Chapel, waiting for some smoke to come out...and I was praying for white smoke. The anticipation of who was going to be elected the new leader of the Holy Roman Catholic Church was just killing me! Granted, I was hoping that Cardinal Dolan would be elected, but I knew he was a long shot. I figured that Cardinal Scola would be the next Pope since he was apparently best buddies with B16.

When my hour was up, I went to my Facebook page and posted, "I wants to see some white smoke!". Then I went back to my office. 10 minutes later, PopeAlarm sent a text message saying, "Habemus Papam!" I immediately sent up a prayer of thanksgiving and kept an eye on CNN.com to see who the lucky man was.

After an hour, it was announced that Cardinal Bergoglio has accepted the position and has taken the name Francis. My first thought? Who the heck is Cardinal Bergoglio? Was he even in the top ten?

When I got home, I watched the rerun of the announcement on EWTN. You could definitely see the excitement of the people in the Vatican. When Pope Francis finally made his debut, he was very reserved...almost like he could not believe what was happening.

Oh my gosh, he was so adorable! His humility touched my heart and I've been praying for this man every since!

After doing a little research and find out how simple this man is, I think that he will have some great things in store for us in the very near future. What do I think about Pope Francis? I think he is exactly what we need.

Blessed Pope John Paul II, please pray for Pope Francis and for all of the members of the Church as he leads us into a new era! Thanks be to God!

Call the Midwife

I have just finished one of the best books that I have ever read called Call the Midwife by Jennifer Worth. It was recently turned into a mini-series by the BBC and is a huge hit over in the UK. It is quickly gaining momentum here in the US and is occasionally shown on PBS.

The book and series tell the story of a very young woman who becomes a midwife and works in a hospital run by Anglican nuns in the East Side of London. Her tales will make you laugh and cry all at the same time. If you are looking for a good read that is both funny and inspiring, you will definitely want to read this book.

I am looking forward to the next season!

Flipping Channels

I was flipping through the channels the other day and I came across a British drama/light comedy show on PBS called 'Call the Midwife'.



 

It is apparently based off of an autobiographical book of the same title and it is about a young woman in post-WW2 England who works at a convent/hospital for expectant mothers. It is an Anglican establishment and the sisters have a day to day lifestyle very similar to their Catholic counter-parts.

 

Naturally, when I watched the first episode, I thought they were Catholic nuns...but when they said their Liturgy of the Hours in English, I realized they must have been Anglican, and after a quick search on the internet, I found I was right. Anglican religious (I mean monks/nuns) started to spring up around the middle of the 19th century. They quickly grew and reached a high point in the 1950's. There are still a number of them around.

 

Anyway, I quickly fell in love with the show because it tells of the struggles of the young women who work there and the struggles of the nuns who have taken vows.

 

I am actually thinking about reading the book since the show seems so fascinating.

 

If you come across this show, I highly recommend it.

 

Finally, with the Conclave fast approaching, I ask everyone to keep the Cardinals, and the retiring Holy Father in their prayers!

Give Up What for Lent?

So, I go to confession the other day to confess my usual sins. It seems that no matter how hard I try I seem to be committing the same ones over and over. I think my confessor has my whole speech memorized by now. Anyway, when I am done rattling away my sins he asks me "What did you give up for Lent?"

Now, I am feeling somewhat confident that he will approve of my chosen sacrifices. I proudly tell him that I have given up all drink (except tea and water...and for someone who loves coffee and wine, that is a BIG sacrifice) and all processed snacks (chips, chocolate, crackers, etc...). He then says "Why have you not given up sin?"

Talk about being speechless. Sin? Who gives up sin for Lent? HOW can one give up sin for Lent? It seems that sin (whether it be mortal or venial) is so ingrained in our lives, we do it without even thinking. Literally, that is one of my biggest problems...the sin of thinking bad or unjust things about other people. I have not seemed to master the art of controlling my thoughts...they just seem to pop out of no where.

But none the less...with that one statement he took what pride I had over my Lenten sacrifices and taught me that we need to look past the material and look more spiritual. Giving up sin for Lent just seems to be setting myself up to lose... but it's worth a try.

Abdication and Conclave

My reaction? Utter shock.

My husband has been very sick for the past two days, so I call off of work to take care of him, then I promptly return to bed. Now, my husband likes to cuddle when he is sick (he's like a child in that regard), so when I finally get up and pour a can of broth into a pan, which was his first meal in two days, I turn on my computer to check my Facebook account, like I always do. The first status I see is Raymond Arroyo, the news guy on EWTN, announcing the abdication of the Pope! My status was- Whoa, whoa, wait...WHAT!!!

Granted, we all knew B16's stance on Papal Abdications, but I don't think any of us thought he would actually go through with it! I mean, this has not happened in 600 years, we don't even have a protocol for this.

I am sure there are all kinds of questions going on in the Vatican right now. What will we call him? The Former Holy Father? Where will he live? Will he have any kind of responsibilities? Or will he just reside in a special home and write books for the rest of his life? Honestly, we don't know.

So now, speculations begin. Who will be the new Pope? I think that many of us are hoping that Cardinal Dolan will be elected the fist American Pope, but that is highly unlikely.

But, let's face it, any Cardinal who is willing to flap his cape like a bat deserves to be Pope!

Please keep B16 and Holy Mother Church in your prayers during this confusing time. The Holy Spirit will guide us into the future!





Right to Life March 2013

Yup, you guessed right, I endured the freezing cold and snow to join the other 500,000+ people in demanding that our country respect the dignity of women and ALL human life last week. It was the second Right to Life March that I had the unfortunate honor to attend.

But, despite the fact that we are all there to protest this travesty called legalized abortion, there is still a sense of unity among everyone who marches. We are all united for this one cause, and in the end you come away with at least a small feeling of accomplishment.

Like last year, I chaperoned a group of teenagers from my church. We drove down on Thursday night and attended the Mass at the Basilica. Let me tell you, it was a LONG Mass. The procession alone was like 45 minutes! But it is such a beautiful Mass and totally worth it! Then we spent the night sleeping on the gym floor of Catholic University...this means that I only got about an hour of sleep before I had to wake up all of the girls at 4:30am.

Why do we get up at 4:30am? To attend the Youth Rally, of course!

That's Deacon Dave and Msgr. Hudock you see pictured there. Deacon Dave is my spiritual director and he is vehemently Pro-Life and not afraid to shout about it! The Youth Rally hosts thousands of young Catholics. They sing songs and celebrate Mass before hitting the streets. It's a lot of fun and very inspiring.

One thing that I have discovered about myself is that I have this strange emotional reaction to this one song that seems to be very popular. I remember singing it when I was in middle school and high school, but it did not have the same effect on me as it does now.



Here I am, Lord...I know we all have heard it. For some reason, every time I hear this song, I literally cannot stop the tears streaming down my face. So, here I am, surrounded by teenagers, trying to be the 'cool chaperone' (and failing miserably), and I am bawling during the processional at a Youth Rally. Yup, my coolness went out the window.

Not that I was cool to begin with. One thing I realized during this who experience is how out of touch I am with the current generation. I'm not even 30 and I'm feeling like an old fuddy-duddy. All of us chaperons were trying hard to allow them to have a certain amount of fun, but not forget that we were pilgrims and there had to be a prayerful and educational aspect as well.

When I got home, and I looked at my Facebook account, I saw so many pictures of all of my friends who attended. Again, this is such a great feeling. We were united in a common cause. Yet, it is unfortunate that we have to fight for such a fundamental human right.

I've already volunteered to chaperon again next year...I think I'll start praying for unseasonably warm weather now...marching in snow was very...penitential...