Girl Power?

Tell me, when you think girl power, what do you think of? Spice Girls? I do. Being a product of the 90's they are the first thing that comes to my mind. But what exactly constitutes 'girl power'? Society is trying to put the image of a masculinized woman as being the quintessential form of 'girl power'.

This past week, Catholic.org posted an interesting article about Beyonce's new single and video called (Girls) Run the World. Beyonce puts forth the image of a woman who is part man-part goddess-part dominatrix and highly sexual. Using this sexuality her and her dancing entourage defeat a gaggle of pussy-footed men. And this is supposed to empower women?
We are having problems in society in this day and age. Young girls are being taught that in order to be strong women they must use their sexuality to confuse and overpower men to get their way. The 'goddess' figure that Beyonce portrays is equivalent to a sex goddess. Since sexuality is so prevalent in our society this day and age, anything virtuous is seen as weakness. Flipping through the channels I will come across concerts titled 'The Takeover of Brittany Spears' or 'The Takeover of Lady Gaga'. Both highly sexual performers. I have yet to see 'The Takeover of Taylor Swift'. Even though it seems that Taylor Swift can't get out of her emotional high school days, seeing that she is close to 20, I do kinda like her songs. They're catchy...

Anyway, what exactly constitutes a strong woman? I know I reflected on this subject a few weeks ago and I listed a bunch of female saints who have had a profound impact on history and the church. But in this day and age, when not every woman is going to lead an army or write letters that will affect the papacy, how can we know what a strong woman is? Society will tell us that a woman has to deny her femininity and become masculinized to be viewed as a strong woman. We are constantly barraged by the media that we are to be career driven individuals who should control our reproductive organs by using drugs. Women who have more than 2.5 children are seen as weird, and are even weirder if they stay home to take care of them. If a woman dresses modestly, they are seen as 'out of touch'. Because, hey, if you got it, flaunt it! Right?

How can we counter this image? I really think that the best way to do that would be simply to live by example. Showing others that we do not need to use our sexuality for power will prove that we can still be strong but virtuous at the same time.

Should We Pity-

Yes, I know Harold Camping is an idiot and I believe that he is a con-artist. He is also pushing this rapture thing way too far! He finally made his first statement last night on his radio show, Family Radio, after this 'Great Disappointment'. He refused to talk to reporters after 6pm on the 21st because he was apparently 'flabbergasted' at the fact that there was no rapture. So he took his wife and holed himself up in a hotel for a little while so he could come up with an excuse on why his calculations were wrong.

Well, according to old Harry, they weren't wrong! Apparently it was a 'spiritual' (aka invisible) judgement and the world is still going to end on October 21st. He has not apologized to his followers for deceiving them and said that it was not his fault that so many people gave up their life savings, quit their jobs, sold their homes, etc... to spread the word of impending doom...all on his word.

Robert Fitzpatrick was one of those deceived by Camping's silver tongue. He was an MTA employee who cashed in his retirement of approximately $140,000 to spread the word. At 6pm on the 21st he stood in Times Square waiting to be raptured, and obviously nothing happened. The sad thing is that people swarmed around him at 6:01 mocking him. The poor fool was completely shocked that the rapture didn't happen, and he flipped through the pages of his Bible trying to find answers. I feel bad for Mr. Fitzpatrick because he fell for the wolf in sheep's clothing, has lost everything, and is headed for a major spiritual crisis as people mock him.
A 19 year old New Jersey boy quit his job, gave up all of his savings, and convinced his family to do the same to spread Canping's lies. Now, he and his girlfriend who is 8 months pregnant must start anew with no job and no money to support the baby.

Good Old Harry Camping is doing worse damage now by saying that the world will still end on October 21st. His followers no doubt are going through a crisis of faith right now, and that crisis will only get worse on October 21st. Instead of saying 'Oh, my bad', and apologizing like he should have done, he is leading his followers down a deeper cesspool. I just pray to God that we will not hear of these people committing suicide on October 21st.

Harold Camping, you should be ashamed of yourself!!!

Learning to Have Faith

Rick and I have been together a very long time. I love him dearly and I am very thankful for him and everything he does for us. There have been some complications with his divorce and this process has been dragged out for years. Luckily there were no children involved. But we are close to the end and there is light at the end of the tunnel, finally!
However, these few years have been very frustrating. All that we want to do is get married, it has been too long coming. Our original plan was to elope as soon as the divorce is final and have a church wedding later. Our Deacon has convinced us that that is not the proper way to go. He has helped us realize that when we marry we should do it once and do it properly, in sight of God. So, we have made a vow of celibacy until we are married, and considering the fact that we are living together, this vow is a little harder than I thought it would be. The sexual tension between us seems to be growing with each passing day, but we have not given in to our desires. This is actually a good thing because I have just started to practice Natural Family Planning and I am still trying to get in tune with my natural cycle. Because of the sexual tension and because we love each other so deeply and have been waiting so long, there is still a part of us who have toyed with eloping, running down to the courthouse as soon as we can.

This morning I went to a meeting and our Deacon was in attendance. After lunch I stayed afterward to help him and his daughter clean up. He asked if we had heard anything about the divorce yet. I told him no, but it shouldn't be much longer. Then I told him that if we are impatient and that I would not be surprised if Rick whisked me down to the courthouse as soon as it is finalized. Smiling, Deacon replied, "No, don't do that! I'll get you married as soon as I can. You should be getting a phone call this week to get started on your pre-cana classes."

Well, on my way home, I reflected on this whole situation and I realized that God certainly does work in wondrous ways. I think there is a reason why this whole thing has been dragged out for so long. God wanted me to get married properly. When I met Rick I was beginning to stray from the faith, and I strayed farther away with each passing year. Then, a couple of years ago I started coming back, and Rick eventually followed me back home. We are more passionate about our faith than ever before. I think that God knew that I would come back to the fold and said, 'You are my child and I want you to get married properly'. So, this was His plan all along.

So, while this whole situation is very frustrating, God hand has been behind it because this has been His plan.

God, please give Rick and me the patience to wait until we can be married properly in Your House and in your Presence.

Are You Ready for Sunday?

I am! I am so looking forward to Sunday and seeing how Harold Camping, the guy who has convinced thousands and thousands of people that the world will end at 6:00 on Saturday, looks with egg on his face. Supposedly he calculated the end times by using the Bible as his source. He obviously skipped over the Gospel of Mark which says "Heaven and earth shall pass away, but my word shall not pass away. But of that day or hour no man knoweth, neither the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but the Father" (Mk 13 31-33). No one knows! Certainly not Harold Camping! He should be ashamed of his scare tactics! He predicted that the world was going to end in 1994, when it obviously didn't end said that there was something wrong with his calculations. I hope he comes up with a better excuse this time around.

Christ warned us of all the liars who would prophesy in His name. We need to be careful of all the lies and those who claim to have special knowledge. Which is why I am glad that I belong to the Catholic Church who guards Her children from such lies. There is a reason we have a heirarchy and authority. We should pray for people who spread such discord and the fools who follow them. I heard on the radio this morning that Harold Camping's organizations received millions in donations, and these are reflected in his tax returns. He has lied for the sake of money.

And to top that, there is a group of atheists who say they will take care of your dog when you're taken by the rapture! They charge $135 for this service and show no shame for taking advantage of those who have fallen for such fallicies! The dollar sure can spread evil ways. But which is worse, the liars who spread these untruths, or the uneducated fools who fall for them. Who should we pray for the most? Should we pray for the lies to cease, or should we pray for better education? Or both?


When I greet my priest on Sunday I'll congratulate him for surviving the rapture!

90% Are You Kidding Me?

Today I read a rather alarming statistic. According to an article on Catholic.org, 90% of Catholics do not believe that the use of contraceptives, mainly the magical pill, is immoral. 72% have used contraceptives at some point in their lifetime. And they still consider themselves to be 'good Catholics'. Therefore, one does not need to follow the tenants on the of the Church to be a 'good Catholic'? What then, pray tell, constitutes a good Catholic?

I will admit, I am one of the 72%. I was on the pill for 10 years, I started using it for medical reasons when I was 16 because I had debilitating desmenaria, but I never went off of it and continued using it for contraceptive purposes. And I used to believe that I could still be a good Catholic and not have to believe everything the church taught. Since I fully came back to the faith, I now understand that that is not true. Catholicism is not a cafeteria religion, you can't pick and chose what you want to believe. When the pope speaks about morals and he is speaking ex cathedra he is being led by the Holy Spirit. I am sure he knows that speaking against birth control would not be a popular thing! I am sure he understood that there would be people who would refuse to accept the church's teachings because they did not want to change their life style, and they would leave. Yet, the church is the only major church who has stuck to her guns.
Sex is a gift from God. God intended this gift to be used in the context of marriage. Marriage, as we all know, is a sacrament, and the sexual act is is part of the marriage covenant. It is meant to be both love giving AND life giving. If you take purposefully take away one of those aspects, then it becomes something that is unholy. Contraception makes something that was meant to be pure and holy, something common.
Contraception also disrespects that natural law of how a woman's body works. God was very meticulous when he created us. He gave us a natural cycle. If He wanted us to get pregnant every time we had sex, we would be fertile all of the time. But God, in His omnipotence, gave us both fertile and infertile periods. We can follow this natural cycle to either avoid or achieve a pregnancy.

So, why is it that so many people disregard the teachings of the church? Speaking from my personal experience, I did not fully understand the authority of the church and I did not want anything getting in the way of the lifestyle I wanted to live. I wanted the church to conform to me, not vice versa.
Now, I practice NFP. As of this point in time my fiance and I are not sexually active and I am taking advantage of this opportunity to chart and understand my natural cycle.
Also, I am not really sure if this issue is being taught to the full extent that it should be. I remember being in Catholic school and taking sex ed. Yes, they did push abstinence, and they briefly discussed the different kinds of contraception, but did not go fully into the theological reasons why contraception is immoral. In high school a priest talked to us about marriage and how we should use NFP, but still again we did not discuss the theological issues. I think it may have been better to have invited women who practice and/or teach NFP to show us living examples. I may have considered it more fully if I had actually met a woman who practiced NFP and told us her reasons on why she and her husband practice it. Yes, priests are great men, and I highly respect the priest that taught that marriage class. But, to a 17 year old girl, having a priest talk to you about sex and marriage is not the most effective tactic. I think it would have been more affective hearing the actual experience of a woman who fully follows the church's teachings.

Round One Goes to the Atheist!

I have a friend named Ron who is a staunch atheist. Yes, I do believe that believers and non-believers can get along just fine. Ron is honestly a great guy and he does not look down on those who believe in God, though he is always trying to understand why people believe in a Higher Being. While he has been unable to satisfy his curiosity, he still willingly searches for answers. However, he does find it annoying when people anonymously put Christan tracts in his mail box. And personally, I don't really think that tracts of any kind would be very successful in the conversion process.

Anyway, yesterday Ron posted an article on Facebook about a group of students and professors who are unhappy about Boehner being invited to speak at Catholic University. Boehner is the Speaker of the House and he is a Roman Catholic. His is also staunchly pro-life. However, apparently he has cut federal funding to social programs that help the poor, like WIC. The argument of these students and professors is that cutting federal funding to programs like WIC is not pro-life and he is not acting in accordance to the teachings of the Roman Catholic Church.
When I read this article for the first time I was like, 'Ugh, people arguing and protesting yet again!' On the heels of the forced retirement of Bishop Morris of Toowoomba, Australia, I have become rather sick of people protesting and becoming upset.
I really did not intend to comment on this topic, but I think I have to.

Back in 2006, Bishop Morris made comments saying that the church may have to consider the ordination of women and married men in the because of the shortage of priests. For those of you who may have read my blog from a couple of weeks ago, you know my stance on women priests. Blessed John Paul the Great said very clearly, and ex cathedra, meaning that this statement falls within papal infallibility, that the Church has no ability to ordain women. Period. No if's and's or but's. The pope has spoken. Why there continues to be dissension, I really don't know. And at this point in time the last thing the church needs are dissenters. Especially from the leaders, like Bishop Morris.
However, it is not like Bishop Morris was breaking the rules even further and actually participating in ordaining women, like some others have in the past. So, I do think that the forced retirement of Bishop Morris is a little on the harsh side, and I think that Pope Benedict should have given him a strict lecture, but not force his retirement. Now, the people of Australia are so upset and from what I've heard there is talk of mass resignations! This is not what the church needs. For once, can't we be unified on something!!

My buddy, Ron, posted the article about Boehner on Facebook because he thought that it was great that Catholics are extending their pro-life stance and holding their politicians to a higher level. Boehner should not cut funding to programs that help the poor, like WIC. That was wrong of him. Hopefully he will listen to what these students and professors have to say and work harder to help those who are in need of help.
For those who have the misconception that atheists have little or no morals, my buddy, Ron proves them wrong. He is a great guy and I am glad that I have him as a friend.

The Catholic Wedding Game is Afoot!!!

So today Rick and I met with our Deacon to discuss wedding preparation. Rick was married once before and his divorce has been a long and drawn out process. It is almost final! About another two weeks and he will be a divorcee.
My fiance was born and baptized Catholic but he stopped attending Mass when he was about 10 or so. He attended church back when they still spoke Latin and he did not really connect with his faith. He said that he hated going to Mass when he didn't understand what was going on and the nuns would hit him with a ruler when he would fidget in catechism class. (Also understand that Rick is 25 years older than me, so that was a long time ago.) He had his personal relationship with God, but did not really practice any organized religion. His ex-wife was Presbyterian, so they married in a Presbyterian church and at that time they had no intention of having children.

When he proposed to me we planned on just having a civil ceremony, and did not really think about the process of marrying in the church. Now that we are once again practicing (and practicing with a passion) we are starting the process for his annulment. Apparently there is a whole investigation that is involved, and a lot of paperwork! The annulment should not be a problem since Rick is considered Catholic and his first marriage is not recognized by the church because it was never blessed by a priest and there was no intention of children. The Deacons terms it as a 'clandestine' marriage. But even so, he has to provide witnesses to prove the fact that he was never married in the church. I do too. We have to send paperwork to family and friends who need to go to a Catholic church and swear that we have never been married before in the Catholic faith. Whew...what a process! At least the wheels are beginning to turn.

I asked our Deacon, a man that I highly respect, about the role of women in the church and the family. If you read my post from about a week or so ago, every time I try to get a perspective on the role of a Catholic Women I was always getting the ultra liberal or ultra conservative extreme. Talk about mixed messages! As always I knew there had to be a happy median, and I wanted to get Deacon's perspective. He told me that all of the female saints have been strong Catholic women.

Saint Catherine of Sienna helped bring the papacy back to Rome!

Saint Joan of Arc inspired an army!

Saint Zita worked hard as a servant and won the respect of her master and ran the household!

Saint Lucy and Saint Agnes bravely faced martyrdom!

And my patron saint, Saint Cecilia, converted her husband and brother-in-law before all three of them were bravely martyred.

Finally, it was the Holy Mother Herself who jump-started Christ's ministry.



Deacon also expressed on how his own wife has influenced him in his ministry. So, I am understanding that there is a severe misconception on the role of women. Men and women are equal, but they have different roles to play and they are equally important. In today's society, any women who plays the traditional role are seen as subservient and weak minded. I intend to play the traditional role and I am ANYTHING but subservient and weak minded.

My journey continues...and there are wedding bells in the distance...

The Night of the Soul

For the past two years...or maybe even a little longer...I have not been able to feel the love that I know God has for me. I partially blame this on the fact that I practiced Wicca for about 6 years. Denying the divinity of Christ separates your heart and soul from Him. You may think that the second you start to believe again you are immediately surrounded by the glowing fire of His Love. That is not always the case.

About two years ago I felt pulled to start going back to church, yet I did not want to let go of my Wiccan beliefs. I thought that I could meld the two religions together and be quite content. At that time I denied the divinity of Christ. I believed that He was the son of God, but no more than you and I are sons/daughters of God. Christ was a special entity, but not God. I didn't even believe in sin, therefore I did not believe that Jesus was the ultimate Sacrifice that cleansed us. I even thought that Jesus faked His death on the cross and did not really die! Therefore, the whole resurrection thing was just a huge conspiracy! I confess my heretical beliefs. These beliefs separated me from God.

Going back to church I began to questions these beliefs. Which is natural. I study spiritual development and am aware that questioning one's beliefs strengthens your spirituality. But the event that turned me on my head and threw me into into a full crisis of faith was when I watched a documentary on the Shroud of Turin.

After hearing scientists who studied the shroud for decades say that they cannot explain the image on the cloth made me question my heretical beliefs. Was Christ really God? Did He die for us? Was the image on the shroud an imprint of His resurrection? Questioning these things led me fully back into the Roman Catholic Church and now I do not doubt, I may not fully understand, but I do not doubt.

About a year or so ago, I was praying before bed and I was asking Christ to please open my heart and my mind so that I could fully understand His purpose and His teachings. I heard a distinct voice say, "Listen to my priests". A few months later, again while I was praying and asking Him to open my heart I heard the same voice say, "I want you to cover your head in my Presence". At first I resisted this command, and the voice asked, "Will you not obey me"? So I complied and now I veil in His Presence.

About a month or so ago I was once again praying and asking for forgiveness for my straying from the faith and He asked me to 'not stray again'.

The concept of God talking to you can be a frightening one. Please don't mistake me, I have not gone 'Joan of Arc' or anything like that. I was so confused about the whole veiling thing that I e-mail my deacon about it, which is not something I would typically do. I normally keep my spiritual conundrums to myself. (After which my deacon wanted to meet and that was another heart pounding experience which I won't bore you with.) But hearing voices can make you think that you're either imagining things or going insane and can therefore make it difficult to interpret what you are hearing. Was that me imagining that or was it really the Holy Spirit talking to me? How can I tell?

Now, after years of neglecting my journal, I feel the need to write down what I am feeling. Well, let me rephrase that, I feel that Christ is asking me to journal more. The reason I've neglected it is because I don't feel like I have anything to write. The only thing I feel (spiritually that is) is almost like an emptiness. Almost that God has stopped loving me. Which I know is not true.

A couple of weeks ago my priests was describing the 'night of the soul' in which one does not feel the love of God surrounding them. Mother Teresa went through this. In fact, she asked for an exorcism because she felt the devil was behind it.

It is said that the 'night of the soul' can be a test and in the end your faith just gets stronger. I am hoping that is true. I do not doubt that God loves me, but I just want to cry out, "I'm not feeling the love! Where's the love?"

Does that sound strange? It kinda does to me. Here I know God loves me but I don't feel it? If I don't feel it then how do I know it exists? I guess that is where faith comes in. 

I will say that my full conversion back to the Roman Catholic Church has changed me. Even though I am going through this 'night' I have been a much happier person and I think that I have become more pleasant to be around. Even my job has become a little more enjoyable. Again, does that sound strange? Someone who claims to not feel the love of God and yet is still happy, is even happier than before? This just makes me believe that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Maybe one day I will feel the love. I know that God's love exists and that makes me happy.

I don't really expect this to make sense to anyone, it hardly makes sense to me. But God works in mysterious ways.



My Non-Christian Reaction to the News

I think that I need to ask forgiveness for my foolishness and reflect on some things here.

I went to bed very early last night, 8:45pm, which was unusual for me, but I was just so exhausted because my three ravenous kitties know that I feed them as soon as I wake, so they've developed a habit of waking me up between 6-7am almost every morning. Between the busy weekend I had, and the fact that Rick rented the most boring movie in the world, (The Tourist...would not recommend it.) I could not keep my eyes open.
This morning, after I woke up and fed the obviously starving and attention deprived kitties, I was dressing for work and listening to the radio. On it I heard the news; Osama Bin Laden is dead. I jumped for joy and practically jumped up and down on the bed to wake Rick up saying 'Bin Laden is dead!'. He already knew and I wondered why he didn't wake my up for a celebratory toast.
As soon as I finished getting dressed I ran downstairs and immediately posted this on my Facebook:

OSAMA BIN LADEN IS DEAD! You don't f*ck with America! It may take 10 years but we'll kill your ass!

As I drove to work, I almost immediately regretted posting that. How are we, as Catholic-Christians supposed to react to the news of an evil man who caused so much despair? I also wondered how God would judge him. I know that we are not God therefore we cannot make the assumption that a soul is in hell and we must also remember that hell is a horrible place and we should not wish eternal damnation on our worst enemies.
Also, what would Christ say to us? Jesus is our role-model for living, and while I don't walk around with any WWJD paraphernalia, I do sometimes wonder what would Christ do in this situation? While we may be jubilant that an evil man can no longer continue to destroy lives, should we rejoice in his death? Or should we rise above and pray for him? Don't get me wrong, I would have an exceedingly difficult time praying for Bin Laden's soul, but isn't that our duty?

I think that Father James Martin S.J. was very eloquent in his article when he emphasized that we are in the midst of the Easter season and should remember that Christ asked for the forgiveness of His executioners. Since Christ is our role-model, should we not do the same? I truly think that forgiveness is one of the most difficult things to do. I have people that I cannot seem to bring myself to forgive, family and so-called friends who have wounded me deeply, but I am trying.
The Vatican also released a statement saying:

"In the face of a man's death, a Christian never rejoices, but reflects on the serious responsibilities of each person before God and before men, and hopes and works so that every event may be the occasion for the further growth of peace and not of hatred,"

Blessed John Paul II who was just beatified yesterday had the courage to forgive his would be assassin.



I think that we should follow Blessed JPII's example, and follow Christ's example to forgive, not rejoice when those who wrong us die. This is one of the most difficult things we are called to do as Christians, but we are called to do it.

My Lord, please forgive me for rejoicing in the death of another. Please help the world to forgive the man who has caused so much pain and grief. Help us to rise above and pray for his soul who is receiving justice from his actions. Blessed John Paul, Pray for Us!

Divine Mercy Sunday

Today is a very special day, for two reasons, as any Catholic should know. It is Divine Mercy Sunday! Christ revealed to Saint Faustina that those who receive confession and the Eucharist on this day will receive a plenary indulgence. He spoke to Saint Faustina about the deep deep pool of His Mercy and how He wants to wrap all of man kind in his love. I have said the novena for the past 9 days and will be going to Mass today where I will venerate the image of His Divine Mercy and recite the chaplet before Mass.

Also, today is the Beatification of Pope John Paul II. This has caused some controversy because some people think he did not take action in the light of the scandal. However, there is one thing people need to understand, being a saint does not mean one was perfect while on earth. John Paul II grieved when he learned what was going on and tried to take action. Unfortunately, it doesn't seem that all of the bishops and cardinals took heed of his command.

John Paul II was a great man and he is a role model. I think all popes in the future will be compared to JPII who it seems has set a new standard.

Blessed John Paul the Great, Pray for Us!